The manager was summoned and there was no charge

Thus some waiters, far from being servile, behave as if they have a leave pass to join your group (I know of one case in which a waiter pulled up a chair and joined a dining party), thereby practically giving orders as well as taking them. Sometimes, excessive familiarity can backfire, such as a recent case I know of when a waiter, observing diners had left some food on their plates, said haughtily, Well, I dont have to ask if you enjoyed your meals! The manager was summoned and there was no charge. G Guys. This all-purpose term, beloved of waiters, has become the most abused form of greeting to any number of diners more than one: Ive yet to be welcomed Hi, guy!. This could, though, be just acceptable if Guy happens to be your first name step forward, Messrs Pearce and Fawkes. Otherwise, whats wrong with Sir or Madam? Guys has no point other than excessive familiarity (see above) on the part of the greeter and the feeling of imminent implosion on the part of the greetee. It also turns the masculine guys into a feminine noun, which would not go down well at all in France, where no waiter would dare say Bonjour, Geeze, let alone use the second-person familiar, tu. H Happy Birthday. Celebration is one of the many reasons restaurants exist. But why do managements, let alone diners, draw attention to the fact it is someones special day with a loud and lusty chorus of the worlds most banal song think of the repetitious lyrics? One night, not so long ago, there were birthdays, cake and sing-shouting at five different tables at a popular South Yarra restaurant that is not all that large. To have one birthday is acceptable Rosetta Stone Arabic ; to have five, at various stages through the evening, is ludicrous. I Imitation, sincerest form of ... Someone, somewhere has the power of originality, of culinary invention that brings new dishes and cooking methods into the world. Then, as with cheap and nasty reproductions of Paris haute couture, everyone wants to have a go, to various ends. Take foam, the lighter-than-air, more-expensive-than-caviar dish that made elBullis name and is best left there. Or, back a few decades, nouvelle cuisine with bonsai broccoli and carrots, raspberry vinegar and a single boned quail leg arranged in the middle of a vast plate the diameter of a tractor tyre. Such fads come and go, but generally have little to do with popular appetites or are ridiculously expensive witness Wagyu beef. The worst imitative dish I had was in the late 1980s, a version of cassoulet that did not contain one bean. For sheer audacity, it was nothing short of a miracle. It would have taken the wind out of my sails if Id had any. J Jus, and other pretentious terms. Whatever happened to gravy? K Kudos. While it is OK (if a little too obvious) to display favourable reviews of a restaurant in its windows, it might be better if managements imposed deadlines on such notices. It is one thing for passers-by to learn of a superlative steak dish or brilliant use of the deep-fryer if this all happened within a reasonable time-frame. It is quite another, when you look to the top of the yellowing cutting, to find the piece was written in 1985. L Language. In which we consider the menu and descriptions and terminology within. A decent menu tells you what is available, but does not lard the bill of fare (or Bill of Fayre, if its a Medieval Ye Olde Chop House see Themes) with unnecessary and inaccurate adjectives such as mouth-watering, tender, freshly picked, line-caught, creamy and delicious.

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